Energy Drinks

This blog was Sallie's idea. Dan is in italics.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned during this move from Myrtle Beach to St. Louis, it’s this: Energy drinks are essential.

I think I learned this lesson long ago when I first picked up a Nitro or Jolt cola, hoping to get that extra caffeine to stay up all night and play Sega Genesis. Granted neither of those drinks had quite the impact that today’s do, but my brain was convinced I was supposed to be a hyperactive child after slurping one down.

This sentiment holds true for pretty much any endurance endeavor: late-night study sessions, waking up for work on time or staying up to play games. Sometimes, you need a boost just to keep from slouching in the middle of the day or to concentrate a little better on the task at hand.

Let it suffice to say that Friday, which marked our drive from MB to stL, was a Red Bull kind of day.

Hands down, sugar-free Red Bull is my favorite energy drink. It’s only 10 calories, it’s full of caffeine and it doesn’t make me feel all tweaked out when I drink it. It comes in a sleek little can that’s easy to hold and has a taste that’s crave-worthy once you get used to it. Major drawback: price. A four pack of the stuff can set you back anywhere from $7 to $9, depending on where you buy it. Forget grabbing a case; that’ll be an easy $25+ for 12 eight-ounce cans. It can leave a little to be desired.

I go for the full on sugared Red Bull. I don’t care that it’s 110 calories per 8 ounces, it gives me the boost I need. I know its doing its magic because after the first drink I blink, and then my eyes start watering, and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. That is the true test of a good energy drink at work.

Other than Red Bull, though, there are a variety of other energy drinks that are out there. Problem is, they can be pretty hit or miss. One alternative that we’ve come across is Rip It energy drink, which is cheap and comes in six flavors, eight if you include the sugar-free versions, which I love. The drinks come in 16-ounce cans and are four for $5 dollars. Pretty much beats Red Bull to a pulp on the value/amount scale. The drinks taste great, too, especially for the price. For dollar spent, Rip It is your best bet. My personal favorite flavor is sugar-free Citrus-X, with the A’tomic Pom at a close second. They do the drink and take awhile to drink, so you’re not left empty-handed too soon.

Rip It is very tasty, but I didn’t find quite the pump to my brain Red Bull gives me. It does keep me awake, it just doesn’t give me the eye opening experience of Red Bull.

In the ‘Gross-don’t-go-there’ category is the lovely Steven Seagal’s ALL NATURAL, 100% JUICE HERBAL ENERGY DRINK – NO SUGAR ADDED. If that’s not a mouthful, I don’t know what is.

Dan and I stumbled upon these delights while searching for macaroni salad at Wal-Mart. There in the refrigerated aisle, across from the cheese dip, was Steven Seagal’s face staring at us from the cans of said energy drink. The flavors included Cherry Charge and Asian Experience. It was less than a dollar for 16 ounces. We went with the Cherry Charge, as Asian Experience lent our imaginations to wander in the direction of mail-order brides and questionable massage parlors. Let it suffice to say that the drink was gross; I though my teeth were going to rot out of my head and I found it a little unnerving to see Mr. Seagal staring at me every time I set the can down. It was like he was mocking me for being unable to slam the can in one drink and embark on my next martial arts adventure. I don’t appreciate being taunted while I’m trying to get my energy boost on. Sure, it’s cheap, but I can guarantee that you’ll hate yourself after you try to drink it.

I felt like I was getting a roundhouse kick of nastiness to the mouth every time I took a swallow.

Moral of the story: Stick with what you know when you really need a jolt unless you’ve got a good plan B. If there isn’t any Red Bull at the gas station you’ve stopped at in the middle of nowhere, head around back and strike a deal with the local cocaine vendor. You’ll be better off than if you go with Steven Seagal’s beverage. Trust me.

The only other energy drink I’ve felt comes close to Red Bull is the green Monster flavor. I was introduced to this by my great friend Zak on his first visit to St. Charles. We’d been driving around for several hours (this was when gas was under $2) and while I was filling up, he went inside and procured the drinks. It drank it, got a bit teary eyed, and stayed awake for a good six hours. Beats the hell out of the 5 hour
energy by a full hour, and tastes a ton better. Plus you just look so much cooler chugging down a 20 ounce Monster compared to the five ounce energy shot.